Matthew the Evangelist relays a conversation that Jesus once had with the Sadducees in which they tried to trap Jesus into admitting that the resurrection of the dead was absurd. They present Him with a case study of a woman who was married seven times, each ending in the death of her husband. They ask Our Lord, “Now at the resurrection, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had been married to her.” If Our Lord said all of them, then He would be admitting there was polyandry, thus rendering the resurrection of the body a sinful state. Instead Our Lord utters words that have shocked many Christians throughout history: “because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven” (c.f. Mt 22:28-33). For some of those who are married, newlyweds and those happily married especially, these words cause much angst. For the rest, relief. But for all of us they are relevant because they give us a momentary glance at our promised destiny.
This ought to go without saying, but it has been uttered enough that it bears mention. When Our Lord says that they “are like the angels” He does not mean that they become angels. “For angels have not bodies” as St. Thomas says. Therefore, it makes no sense to speak of resurrection, that is the re-unification of body and soul, if there is no body. Instead Our Lord is describing the qualities of the resurrected life. They will have the powers of the angels in thought, movement and glorification, but they will still be embodied spirits. They will also, like the angels, not marry.
Seeing Marriage for What It Is..and Isn’t
Part of the struggle to grasp what Our Lord is saying stems from the fact that we live in an age in which the definition of marriage remains elusive. That is, we are unclear what marriage is and what it is for and so endeavor to see how, if at all, it could fit into the scheme of eternity. Marriage is the one flesh union of spouses tending towards the communion of their persons. This union is of the whole person, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and not just an emotional bond as is commonly thought today. This unbreakable personal union also is the foundation of the family which is the natural domicile for the procreating and raising of children.
As the instrument for the procreating and raising of children, obviously marriage is unnecessary in the next world. While it served this purpose here below as the place where man lived out the command to “be fruitful and multiply,” once the harvest comes there will be no need for more fruit.
As a Sacrament marriage too will pass away in the eschaton. In fact, all the Sacraments will pass away. As signs, the Thing signified will be unveiled and made fully present. Gone will be the need to see Our Lord veiled behind the appearances of bread and wine and it will pave the way to see Him face to face. Likewise Marriage as a sign will no longer be necessary because the reality will be fully present.
Marriage as a Sign
The nature of marriage as a sign that points to a very specific reality is vitally important. Specifically, marriage, as an earthly reality tending towards the communion of the spouses points to a parallel heavenly reality. First, in its bond of love and fruitfulness it points to the Communion of Persons which is the Trinity. But that is not all.
As a complete gift of self, it signifies the mutual gift of self between God and each man and woman. As proof that this union is real, “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” The Incarnation is the definitive marriage of mankind with God. The Son is forever united to a human nature. As if further proof were needed, Christ also raised Marriage to a Sacrament by which He bestows sanctifying grace. This sanctifying grace not only cements the bonds of the spouses, but more importantly it truly unites each of the spouses to God. In this way it becomes not just a sign, but the thing signified, “the great mystery in reference to [the bond of] Christ and the Church” (Eph 5:32).
There is also a third reality that is signified in marriage and it is this one that ought to bring relief to those who despair no longer being united to their spouse. It is this reality, says St. John Paul II, that is the reason why we are not simply “laundry listing” what we believe in the Creed but implying an intimate connection between the truths and reality. More to the point, the Saintly Pontiff says that we link the Resurrection of the Body and the Communion of Saints in the Creed.
We are embodied creatures and our bodies too are a sign. They are a sign that we are made for communion, not just with God, but with one another. But these signs do not pass away because they bring about the thing signified, that is our bodies are who we are. In this life we are limited in our capacity of self-giving to the point that we can only give of ourselves fully to one other person. When time ceases, this limitation will be lifted so that we will be able to give of ourselves fully in all our relationships. Put more succinctly we will participate fully in the Communion of Saints, a communion of self-giving and receiving of the entire redeemed community. This is why, by way of anticipation, Our Lady, although only a creature, can have a personal relationship with each of the members of the Church Militant. It is this redeemed community that is wedded to God, a communion with a communion as John Paul II said.
This is the Good News for spouses. All in their relationship they have built upon and centered on Christ will endure. The true intimacy, in Christ, they experienced will not be forgotten but instead will be the foundation of their relationship with each other in the Communion of Saints. They will experience a level of intimacy beyond anything they could imagine.
And this is ultimately why Our Lord refused the Sadducees trap of treating marriage and the resurrection as some theological theory. It is also why we shouldn’t treat this as some “pie in the sky” musings. It ought to inform our relationships here and now. If only those aspects of our relationship that were built on Christ will last, then we know which ones we should focus on. If everyone did this in living out the consequence of Marriage as a Sacrament, then there would be peace in many homes. And that, truly is the Good News.